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Let me tell you something: I thought we wouldn't make it

Beloved Mama

My great-grandfather was a rolling stone leaving my great-grandmother to raise 6 children alone. Both of my grandfathers left my grandmother. They both eventually remarried but my grandmothers didn’t. My family is laced with resilient, unmarried, divorced, separated, single women who are all strong and fierce in their own rights. But one day my maternal grandmother told me that wasn’t what she wanted for me.

When I was a little girl my grandmother prayed for my husband. She would constantly tell me that I would break the generational curse of broken marriages in my family. I had no idea what that meant, and I had no idea why I would be chosen of all people. Afterall, showed the least bit of qualifications and even potential. I never understood what this “curse braking” business was all about — but something in me made me believe that I could do it.

My beloved grandmother died of cancer when I was 19, and at that time all of my hopes and dreams were buried with her. Soon after, I chose to go into the world and live a life plagued with sin. That is when the vision of marriage seemed impossible, and I gave up on it. But God didn’t. When I finally welcomed Christ into my heart — God’s plan of redemption for my life was put into action. And His answer to my grandmother’s prayer came about quickly. God lead my path to intersect with a young hunk of chocolate named Paul. We became friends, then best friends. I eventually became wife, and the mother of his children. And we lived happily ever after – for like a week.

 

We were married when I was 22 years old. God placed women in my life who once had estranged marriages, were told to end their marriages, were separated, and who had marriages that were nearly dust. Now many of them are happily married for 25, 45 and 50 years. But even though I had such jewels of resources, I couldn’t seem to break through MY own norm.

I became a wife with no life-long reference point. I become a wife with the model of a broken family embedded in me. Successful relationships were a foreign concept. And while I had such shining models to look to, it was all still so very very new to me. I was lost in a big world of expectations, I rejected love, submission, and peace — they were very things I needed. Something had to give. I was ruining my marriage while outsiders assumed that we were still honeymooning. For the first five turmoiling months, our marriage was drowning fast like a boulder being thrown into sea.

Then one day I told the Lord “You have to help me.” It was at that moment that I knew He would… and I waited on Him. He came to my rescue and healed me, my husband, and our marriage. Although it took almost no time to break nearly every vow that I made to Paul on our wedding day, the Lord took our ashes and gave us beauty. He took our despair and in exchange He gave us something praise Him about.

And even though we have endured challenging and desperate times in the years to follow, God has held our marriage together with His loving hands. There were seasons that if His hands weren’t on our marriage, it would have fallen to the ground like broken glass.

Over the years God has carefully molded me into to the wife, mother, sister, and friend that I am today.

The generational curse in my family is broken- not through me, but through Christ.

This blog is dedicated to all of the young women like me. Those that were married without a clue of what to do — to wives who never saw a successful marriage– to mothers who are longing to love their children. It is to mothers and wives who grew up without a father. And to those women that the world rejected… this is for you.

You are God’s Beloved. You are your family’s beloved. And you are my beloved friend and sister.

As a wife and a mother of three sons, I need his grace more than ever.

So let’s do this together.

Kierra

Romans 9:25

Because you are known and loved by God. ♥ Because you are known and loved by God. ♥
Sunday morning at 5am, I knew that the long night Sunday morning at 5am, I knew that the long night was gonna be extended to a long morning.  David’s breathing was quick and labored - he needed helped. We were out of town, so I GPS'd the nearest hospital and wheeled David in a wagon through the hotel lobby. (He is well now.) 

When we got to the hospital I saw  the concern on the nurse’s face as she said, “He’s retracting.” I tried to explain what  happened she looked at me at said, 
“Good job mom.” She eased my insecurity, and as I watched her hurry around, I took a sigh of relief. 

A little after the 7am shift change, a bright-eyed nurse came into the room as I was dozing off, and offered David some orange juice. 

When she brought it back, I had dozed off again so I inquired, “Where can I find a cup of coffee?” She told me, and I took note and prepared to voyage through the hospital for a cup of awakeness. 

Moments later, I lifted my head up and there she was.
Our nurse, standing, holding a cup of coffee in one hand, and sugar and cream in the other. It was as if she said, “I see you Mom”. 

Nurses have a way of meeting needs, both big and small as if they are all the same. 

Then I remembered the names of nurses who cared for me and our children over the years:

Olga - Who told me how triumphant I was after having my first baby.
Amber - Who helped deliver two of our babies, and the second on her own with no doctor. 
Peggy- Who brought sunshine to our room after having Joey.

My homebirth midwives:
Kim - Who educated and validated me.
Nancy - Who empowered me with her wisdom. 

Kathy, our Nurse Practitioner - Who’s been there since my first week of motherhood, helping us to raise and care for the boys, and who returns the power to us as parents.

And there's the boys Nana, Reva, a retired nurse, who isn't phased by the smell of  poop, or by throw-up in the middle of the night. She loves our boys like her own.

All of our nurses throughout our journey have been like a warmth of a cup of coffee soothing a tired throat.  And for that, we will never have enough thank yous- but I’ll try. From the bottom of my heart, this mom says - THANK YOU.. For all the “Good job moms”. This world is better because of you.♥️
Every time it rains in the evening while the sun i Every time it rains in the evening while the sun is out, we run into the van to hunt for a rainbow for Noah. If you’re ever around 🌈Noah you’ll quickly find out how much he loves rainbows. It’s one of those God whispers. 

In the Bible, in Genesis after the flood, God sent the very first rainbow to Noah as a sign of His covenant promise. We didn’t tell our Noah to like rainbows, he just does, so I know God lovingly and intentionally placed that in him. Our Noah even took his rainbow puppy along for our rainbow hunt. 

When I see rainbows arching the sky I’m forever reminded that God is faithful to keep His promises. The rainbows of yesterday are just the same as the rainbows of today - beautiful and majestic. Mama, if God says something in His word the answer is YES and Amen. So pray those promises- and pray those blessings! 

Then pray my strength to get this child to to calm down because the rainbow is gone😩😩😭🥹😂👦🏾🌈 

When was your most memorable rainbow?
This is one of those forever moments 😭😭😭 This is one of those forever moments 😭😭😭 I’m still sobbing! And I’m sobbing because when you take the beautiful moments in your life and put them to music, it really makes you focus on God’s grace and how beautiful it is. This was the So God Made a Mother launch party (the reason for the red dress 💃🏽) From Nebraska to home again, it was an surreal journey. And my trophy 🏆 husband Paul 😂 was my comfort and joy! 

I can not thank Leslie and Her View From Home enough for sharing this incredible opportunity with us moms. 
♥️
Thank for amplifying my voice. 
You lifted me up so that the world could hear what I had to say. You let me stand on your shoulders. You invited me into the room, and told me that I belong. And you meant it, because we felt it. 

And now only God has sufficient reward for what you’ve done. But I’ll try my best. 

Mama please help me make this book #1 overall on Amazon! Get your copy, it’ll bless you to tears, I promise. The link is in my bio

I love you Mama, 

It’s your turn now! 
Kierra
I’m in the store and a gentleman smells strongly I’m in the store and a gentleman smells strongly of marijuana. So I reroute Joey to avoid one of his honest and loud comments.

Unfortunately, we crossed the man’s path again. 

Without breaking stride Joey makes this face 🥴and says, “UUUUGGGHHH! It smells like somebody’s UNCLE‼️” 

😳😳😩🤦🏽‍♀️🥴😂😂

#henotlyin #itsmellslikeTHATuncle #UNCLE #imtappingout #generationalcursebreaker 😅😅😅 😮‍💨🚬 #belated420 

Mama, smooth this over for me and drop an  embarrassing kid comment below ♥️
Mama! ♥️I need your help! 😩Noah got his fir Mama! ♥️I need your help! 😩Noah got his first Daycare Picture Day proofs back and I have to make a choice but I haven’t been able to decide. If you were me which would you choose? This is my last baby, so you already know. 🥹

Comment your choice 1,2, 3 or 4 below. 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣4️⃣

👦🏾🌈#chroniclesofNoah
Hey Mama! I'm Kierra of Beloved Mama and I'm LIVE Hey Mama! I'm Kierra of Beloved Mama and I'm LIVE with the amazing Leslie Means of Her View From Home. Join as Leslie and I chat about So God Made a Mother and all the happenings around the  book launch. We talk Tamron Hall, cheese, paper towel tissues, and the events in 2020 that led me to Her View From Home. This book is an amazing collection of stories and testimonies. These stories are like we've never heard before, and I bet you'll find yourself in it too! ♥️x💜
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